- Uh Oh.
Never in my life has there been a more momentous day than the 17th of August and I-am-nervous.
Not only does the outcome of my A level examinations determine whether I gain entrance into my desired university, but it also symbolises the culmination of the seven years of secondary education I have received. It’s interesting to think that, if I were to not continue onto higher education, the grades I receive on the 17th will be the highest formal qualification I have.
Owing to the above, my anxiety surrounding that day seems completely justifiable; after all, my admittance into higher education depends on my grades and even if I were to go straight into work, good grades would be imperative in order for me to be employable.
However, I would be lying If I did not mention the fact that the tumultuous relationship I have had with results day is exponentially worsened due to my over-bearing pride. Indeed, due to my pride, what could be a mere heart-flutter moment turns into a deafening uproar of emotions just prior too, and just after I open my letter.
The consequence of my pride is as follows, a positive outcomes results in a simple acknowledgement that I have managed to do what was expected of me- I find myself devoid of the euphoria which would be expected after a desired outcome. The other side of this double-edged sword is that the repercussions of a negative outcome is not only a missed university placement but also a failure from my part to match expectations. In other words, what should be a slap on the face turns into a 30 storey high fall.
I find it funny how, in my head, I’m comparing my dilemma to that of Shakespeare’s Caius Martius or King Oedipus who’s downfall has been attributed to their hubris. Perhaps I should change my bio to ’21st century tragic hero’ or ‘the tragedy of the millennial hero’ – (probably not, Josh. 2018 update)
This is my first blog-type post in a while and I’m feeling very rusty. I think I just need to persevere and keep writing in order for the whole process to feel less clunky and to find/feel comfortable in my own narrative style.
Until next time,
Josh Kim
Fatherkim 