Drama

My Drama performance is tomorrow and frankly I should be feeling a lot more nervous than I am right now. Especially since I have to get 111/120 to average an A* grade for GCSE Drama.

I’ve come to the realization recently that I just might be a perfectionist. Two different scenario’s aided me in coming to this conclusion in the past week. First was on Sunday, I was in the library doing some revision really digging out some elbow grease and after my 5 hour stint, however hard I tried I could not feel a sense of satisfaction. It’s not as if I have yet to ever experience satisfaction for I regularly experience it when I; perfect a piece on the piano or climax at the same time as the male porn-star. The second time was on Tuesday, I had just finished learning my lines and had sorted out all the various equipment’s I need for my performance. Unlike my friend Shakeel who flooded me with messages of satisfaction and content after he was prepared, I was expressionless, I hadn’t done enough. I could not hide away from the fact that I could have worked on my articulation or movement for an extra hour, I couldn’t shake off the knowledge of knowing I had slacked off for that 15 minutes during my revision session.

My failures follow me like an overhanging shadow.

I suppose it helps facilitate good work and work ethic but for once in my life I would really like to know what it feels like to be free from this weight. I really want to stretch my back and relax.

p.s. If you care about the less fortunate, If you care about the state of the NHS in 10 years, If you aren’t a snob towards those who don’t attend universities, vote for Labour. Vote for Ed.

p.p.s There are a few things I regret happening in the past week, most due to my own short comings. If you’re reading this I’m sorry I could not be a friend to you, I’m an inherently selfish person.

Josh

15/04/15